“He won’t die, but he’ll feel like he’s going to.” That’s what the doctors told Tricia Lott Williford, Writer and Author. But they were wrong. By early the next morning, her husband was dead. How does a young widow–the mother of two little boys–ever pick up the pieces? How does she overcome such a severe trauma and learn to live again? And what does any of this have to do with Faith, Fatherhood, and Autism?
One thing I’ve learned on my own journey is that, while the specifics of our stories are vastly different, our pain isn’t so different at all. Whether you get fired from a job or lose a loved one or get rejected by your first crush, pain is pain, and you have to figure out what to do with that pain. Because we all want to move on, don’t we? I wanted to move on after Jack’s diagnosis back in the day, and I did, eventually. But let me tell you it took time, and it still stings now and again.
This commonality is what drew me to Tricia Lott Williford. Her loss is haunting. I’ve never felt pain like she has. I hope I never do. She lost her husband two days before Christmas 10 years ago. She had two boys at the time, ages 3 and 5. She had to walk them through the aftermath, too. And like me, she worked through it all quite publicly. Here’s an excerpt from her blog:
Tuck woke in the middle of the night, crying and crying. This doesn’t happen to us as often anymore.
“What’s wrong, buddy?” I stood next to his bed, reaching my arm over the top bunk rail to rub his back.
“I don’t know. I just don’t know why I’m crying.”
And then, “Mommy, why don’t you cry for my daddy anymore?”
Oh, sweet boy. I think I know why you’re crying. And I think I might not have words to explain it either.
“I still do sometimes, Tuck. I cry when I’m sad, but I’m not always sad. It’s okay if you want to cry, and it’s okay if you don’t. You can feel however you feel, buddy.”
Just feel how you feel, my love. It’s all I’ve learned how to do.
Indeed. “Feel what you feel.” That was a lesson for herself as much as for her children. And it’s a lesson for us today, too.
I was inspired by this interview with my friend Tricia Lott Williford. I hope you’ll take a listen, because her story is a true story of hope. And that’s what the world needs right now. More hope. So if this encourages you, I hope you’ll take a second and subscribe to The Aching Joy Podcast.
